my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
Unfortunate Sign Burn Outs
Previously: Unfortunate Mugshot Shirts
I’ll add one that my sister saw (oddly right across from a Hooters haha)
I’m a strong independent gamer who needs no tutorial
Shit how do I walk
i remember the “selling their kid on ebay” story…
Who sells their kid on ebay? That’s nuts.
That’s a child. A living being that you made.
That shit goes on etsy.
gotta love knitting needles. i can make a scarf. i can make a hat. i can stab your eyes out. i can make mittens.
What was that middle part?
i can make a hat
Worlds best author everyone.
I saw this post in Facebook with the caption “apparently Mac supports windows” and I cried
It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.